Thursday, August 30, 2007


He opened his eyes to absolute darkness. For a moment or two he felt as if he had been struck by blindness and inadvertently a curse escaped his lips. Slowly, as his eyes grew accustomed to the night, dark silhouettes materialized in the clinically cold room. Orange light filtered in through the gaps in the venetian blinds and the shiny glass bottles full of colorful tablets glimmered and shimmered in it. The greenish glow of the bedside monitor and the steady sound of the intravenous drip coupled with the jewel-like tablets made the room resemble an eerie undersea cavern full of treasure.
He tried to get up, but a sharp pain in his body jerked him back into reality. He was here in the hospital because of the accident. So, he had survived. Details of the accident were blurry. All he could remember was driving on the highway….
Lost in thought, he suddenly sensed the presence of someone else in the room, someone horribly familiar.
“Who’s there?”, he asked, hoping against hope that no one would answer.
“It’s me.” , came the reply, barely a whisper. “ You know me, right?”
He could not think clearly. All the drugs in his system were obscuring rational thought. Why was he here again, jeering at him? Was there still something left to do?
As if reading his mind the voice said, ” You do know why I’m here, don’t you? And what you must do?”
“ No I don’t. ” He tried to scream, but no sound would come. He was shaking badly now. He dug his uncut nails into his thigh to get a grip on himself.
A shrill laughter filled the room, and the delicate instruments in the tray over the bedside table rattled due to the sound in the dead of the night. By now he was sweating profusely as fear engulfed him. The voice was steadily getting louder, as the effect of the sedative was diminishing.
“Next, you shall tell me, you don’t even know who I am.” He challenged. The laughter stopped as suddenly as it had started and deathly silence took its place. He got out of bed and started moving towards the bathroom. He could barely walk, but he wanted to get away from the voice.
He turned on the light and looked at his own haggard face in the bathroom mirror.
“ Look at you, coward.”, jeered the voice now sounding magically magnified and then there was the same cackling laughter again. “ You’re the biggest coward in the world.” More laughter.
Slowly he felt the fear starting to melt away. Anger was replacing that debilitating fear- anger and that awe-inspiring sense of power. He looked up and that face in the mirror broke into a smile. Everything was going to be fine now.
Still gazing into the mirror he heard himself saying, “ Yes. Yes, I know who you are. I know what I have to do.” He felt so strong now that heat was radiating from him.
They laughed in unison- the man and the voice. Today would be the day of triumph for both of them. Today they would finally achieve what they had been trying for this long. No one could stop them now.
Sense was overcoming the delirium induced by the drugs. He did not even stop to glance back at the man in the shadows. He knew that the voice would travel with him wherever he went. There was no hesitation in his step now as he opened the door of his room.
The lobby was empty and sterile like everything else in the hospital. An occasional moan or a distant scream broke the unending silence. Just as he started down the stairs, a clock chimed three. It was time.
The giant entrance before him seemed to encourage him to leave the cold confines and embrace the task so lovingly assigned to him; and even as he felt the jubilation of freedom a strange sadness engulfed him. But now he knew all was gone…..

Excerpts from the newspaper

Mon,17th June

Mr. Ankit Mehra, CEO of Log Services, died in the wee hours of today morning following an accident, in front of City Hospital where he was undergoing treatment for schizophrenia. According to sources he had attempted to take his life twice in the past two weeks.
He was taken to the Hospital following the accident but was pronounced dead on arrival…..

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


If I dream I can be happy, if I dream I can be sad,
If I dream I may just worry, If I dream I may even be bad,
When I dream I could make you my friend, or else the biggest foe
When I dream I can be fast, when I dream I can be slow.
If I dream I can be a winner, out to conquer the world,
Or else the biggest loser, grumbling till I’m old.
In my dream I can run faster than the universe
Speak nineteen to a dozen in, reverse
In my dream I can be clever, teach you a lesson or two
And answer all your questions, without a clue

Coz in my dream I live, yeah! In this dream, I’m alive

In my dream, I could easily make you fall in love with me
In my dream I could be better than any one you’d see
When I dream there could be no one, except you and me
In my dream you could just be mine, and yet we could be free
I can dream when I’m asleep, with the stars mirroring my face
I can dream with my eyes wide open, at absolutely any place
I can dream, That’s only how I can be
I dream, oh I dream, and that is how I am ME!!

Coz’ life is but a dream….and in this dream I’m alive

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Various Snapshots Of Life , First

Land of the Gods.....

Garden of the Gods???!!!!
[The above pics were both taken in Manali, Himachal Pradesh. Locals refer to Himachal as Dev Bhoomi which translated means Land of the Gods due to the abundance of temples and the Himalayas]

Not so " Great Thoughts "

Anyone who has ever attended college or school would swear by the potential of some teachers to completely enthrall a class- not by their prodigious knowledge but rather by their seeming lack of it. Very often such lectures become the breeding ground for the various artistic talents latent in a lot of students( launching paper aeroplanes impregnated with spit so that they stick to the ceiling)…
During one such enlightening lecture I spent a good amount of my time altering great thoughts of some very great people. The outcome of it is before you

For the uninitiated, some notebook manufacturers include these great thoughts on the last page of the book in order to inspire students. I’m quite sure so will mine…
[P.S: As is the usual convention, the actual thoughts are in white while my special additions are in red. The author of the original quote is indicated at the bottom of each line]


Character, not brain, will count at the crucial moment. [ And if it doesn’t you’re probably still alive]
Rabindra Nath Tagore

Some men are born great, Some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.[The rest of us must work sloppily so as to highlight their greatness.]
William Shakespeare

Education is the chief defense of the nation[ money the chief offense]

People generally quarrel because they cannot argue [ And they argue ‘coz they have little better to do]

What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt and has a clear conscience
Adam Smith

Generally the theories we believe, we call them facts, and the facts we disbelieve we call them theories [ Though you can rarely distinguish between facts and theories when you’re cramming before an exam ]
Felix Cohen

He who fears you present, will hate you absent.[ He who fears you absent will fear you whatever]
English Proverb

A specialist is one who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else. [A manager is one who knows nothing about anything- pretending all the while to be a specialist.]
Ambrose Bierce

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. [ A poet is someone who does the same but writes a poem about it.]

There is no sadder sight than a pessimist. [ Or an overgrown optimist]
Mark Twain

Always behave like a duck- keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle with great vigour underneath. [ Then people can call you a good Quack]
Jacob Braude

[ WARNING: Doodling in class can land you into serious trouble. The author does not take responsibility for the same]

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Go On....

Incapacitating, unbelievable , confusing moments pass by
Unfazed by the subtle soft sigh
Completely in my senses and yet too intoxicated
Capturing my mind and yet quite understated
Ironical to an extent it’s hilarious
Unfortunately I couldn’t be any more serious
And I try to go on….

It’s pulling me into the eye of the storm
Satan disguised in some unrecogonizable form
Pervading all rational thought
Teaching me more than I’ve ever been taught
Prodding me to explore the previously unexplored
Taking me down a dangerous road
And I try to go on

How long it will last, nobody’ll ever know
Heading toward the light beyond the door
Bracing myself for all that may happen
Without letting my anxieties deepen
The longer the path, the more I may weep
Yet, never accept defeat
I will go on.. and on.. till I can’t

Meet the lady in blue

There are already two of me here and as I had said before, some other parts of me are getting a little restive. This particularly deals with the part of me that has a darker persona. So in order to give a vent to her feelings I introduce you to the girl in blue. Her snippets will perhaps reveal something that will make you think, when you’re happy and depress you to the core when you’re already upset.
Hope you do not enjoy what she writes.