Friday, September 14, 2007


Clouds line a deep blue sky
The wind drowns a supressed sigh
The heart bleeds with a drunken care
The world around seems so unfair
Unpleasantness surrounds me now
A fool, infatuated- I don't know how
"Stability sucks" screams a bitter inside
But these scary feelings, I sure must hide
An ego drips from a conditioned soul
Don't look at me as if I'm foul
Turn the pages of destiny
And somewhere halfway you shall find me
Conscience plays a dual game
Poof!There goes the hall of fame
The innocence of that angel face
Lets the hatred in your heart showcase
The only one I've ever known...
The sheet of pride off me has blown
I pick the pieces to carry on
The girl inside me just breaks down
I move along on the beate track
And rush like hell, to get my love back...

Monday, September 3, 2007


Breathe deep,

Are you really here or is this some heady dream

I'm rising, faster than ever,

Dizzying heights

Angelic flights


Running through my veins ever so swiftly

Arousing emotions, so exquisite

Lightening quick

smooth and slick

Touch and feel,

Drops of rain tantalizing the senses

You and me, amidst a sea of green

Your smell on me,

So heavenly

A swift wind,

An embrace so strong, seems like a meeting of souls

Nature's flavor, distinctly yours

Sounds of silence

Senses intense


Cigarettes to pacify the fiery passion

Beads of sweat on your forehead

And a divine iridescence

Chemical essence

A desire to dissolve

Blend in the air that surrounds you so close

Smile and float and soar

Sweet nicotine

And what has been..

Thursday, August 30, 2007


He opened his eyes to absolute darkness. For a moment or two he felt as if he had been struck by blindness and inadvertently a curse escaped his lips. Slowly, as his eyes grew accustomed to the night, dark silhouettes materialized in the clinically cold room. Orange light filtered in through the gaps in the venetian blinds and the shiny glass bottles full of colorful tablets glimmered and shimmered in it. The greenish glow of the bedside monitor and the steady sound of the intravenous drip coupled with the jewel-like tablets made the room resemble an eerie undersea cavern full of treasure.
He tried to get up, but a sharp pain in his body jerked him back into reality. He was here in the hospital because of the accident. So, he had survived. Details of the accident were blurry. All he could remember was driving on the highway….
Lost in thought, he suddenly sensed the presence of someone else in the room, someone horribly familiar.
“Who’s there?”, he asked, hoping against hope that no one would answer.
“It’s me.” , came the reply, barely a whisper. “ You know me, right?”
He could not think clearly. All the drugs in his system were obscuring rational thought. Why was he here again, jeering at him? Was there still something left to do?
As if reading his mind the voice said, ” You do know why I’m here, don’t you? And what you must do?”
“ No I don’t. ” He tried to scream, but no sound would come. He was shaking badly now. He dug his uncut nails into his thigh to get a grip on himself.
A shrill laughter filled the room, and the delicate instruments in the tray over the bedside table rattled due to the sound in the dead of the night. By now he was sweating profusely as fear engulfed him. The voice was steadily getting louder, as the effect of the sedative was diminishing.
“Next, you shall tell me, you don’t even know who I am.” He challenged. The laughter stopped as suddenly as it had started and deathly silence took its place. He got out of bed and started moving towards the bathroom. He could barely walk, but he wanted to get away from the voice.
He turned on the light and looked at his own haggard face in the bathroom mirror.
“ Look at you, coward.”, jeered the voice now sounding magically magnified and then there was the same cackling laughter again. “ You’re the biggest coward in the world.” More laughter.
Slowly he felt the fear starting to melt away. Anger was replacing that debilitating fear- anger and that awe-inspiring sense of power. He looked up and that face in the mirror broke into a smile. Everything was going to be fine now.
Still gazing into the mirror he heard himself saying, “ Yes. Yes, I know who you are. I know what I have to do.” He felt so strong now that heat was radiating from him.
They laughed in unison- the man and the voice. Today would be the day of triumph for both of them. Today they would finally achieve what they had been trying for this long. No one could stop them now.
Sense was overcoming the delirium induced by the drugs. He did not even stop to glance back at the man in the shadows. He knew that the voice would travel with him wherever he went. There was no hesitation in his step now as he opened the door of his room.
The lobby was empty and sterile like everything else in the hospital. An occasional moan or a distant scream broke the unending silence. Just as he started down the stairs, a clock chimed three. It was time.
The giant entrance before him seemed to encourage him to leave the cold confines and embrace the task so lovingly assigned to him; and even as he felt the jubilation of freedom a strange sadness engulfed him. But now he knew all was gone…..

Excerpts from the newspaper

Mon,17th June

Mr. Ankit Mehra, CEO of Log Services, died in the wee hours of today morning following an accident, in front of City Hospital where he was undergoing treatment for schizophrenia. According to sources he had attempted to take his life twice in the past two weeks.
He was taken to the Hospital following the accident but was pronounced dead on arrival…..

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


If I dream I can be happy, if I dream I can be sad,
If I dream I may just worry, If I dream I may even be bad,
When I dream I could make you my friend, or else the biggest foe
When I dream I can be fast, when I dream I can be slow.
If I dream I can be a winner, out to conquer the world,
Or else the biggest loser, grumbling till I’m old.
In my dream I can run faster than the universe
Speak nineteen to a dozen in, reverse
In my dream I can be clever, teach you a lesson or two
And answer all your questions, without a clue

Coz in my dream I live, yeah! In this dream, I’m alive

In my dream, I could easily make you fall in love with me
In my dream I could be better than any one you’d see
When I dream there could be no one, except you and me
In my dream you could just be mine, and yet we could be free
I can dream when I’m asleep, with the stars mirroring my face
I can dream with my eyes wide open, at absolutely any place
I can dream, That’s only how I can be
I dream, oh I dream, and that is how I am ME!!

Coz’ life is but a dream….and in this dream I’m alive

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Various Snapshots Of Life , First

Land of the Gods.....

Garden of the Gods???!!!!
[The above pics were both taken in Manali, Himachal Pradesh. Locals refer to Himachal as Dev Bhoomi which translated means Land of the Gods due to the abundance of temples and the Himalayas]

Not so " Great Thoughts "

Anyone who has ever attended college or school would swear by the potential of some teachers to completely enthrall a class- not by their prodigious knowledge but rather by their seeming lack of it. Very often such lectures become the breeding ground for the various artistic talents latent in a lot of students( launching paper aeroplanes impregnated with spit so that they stick to the ceiling)…
During one such enlightening lecture I spent a good amount of my time altering great thoughts of some very great people. The outcome of it is before you

For the uninitiated, some notebook manufacturers include these great thoughts on the last page of the book in order to inspire students. I’m quite sure so will mine…
[P.S: As is the usual convention, the actual thoughts are in white while my special additions are in red. The author of the original quote is indicated at the bottom of each line]


Character, not brain, will count at the crucial moment. [ And if it doesn’t you’re probably still alive]
Rabindra Nath Tagore

Some men are born great, Some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.[The rest of us must work sloppily so as to highlight their greatness.]
William Shakespeare

Education is the chief defense of the nation[ money the chief offense]

People generally quarrel because they cannot argue [ And they argue ‘coz they have little better to do]

What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt and has a clear conscience
Adam Smith

Generally the theories we believe, we call them facts, and the facts we disbelieve we call them theories [ Though you can rarely distinguish between facts and theories when you’re cramming before an exam ]
Felix Cohen

He who fears you present, will hate you absent.[ He who fears you absent will fear you whatever]
English Proverb

A specialist is one who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else. [A manager is one who knows nothing about anything- pretending all the while to be a specialist.]
Ambrose Bierce

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. [ A poet is someone who does the same but writes a poem about it.]

There is no sadder sight than a pessimist. [ Or an overgrown optimist]
Mark Twain

Always behave like a duck- keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle with great vigour underneath. [ Then people can call you a good Quack]
Jacob Braude

[ WARNING: Doodling in class can land you into serious trouble. The author does not take responsibility for the same]

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Go On....

Incapacitating, unbelievable , confusing moments pass by
Unfazed by the subtle soft sigh
Completely in my senses and yet too intoxicated
Capturing my mind and yet quite understated
Ironical to an extent it’s hilarious
Unfortunately I couldn’t be any more serious
And I try to go on….

It’s pulling me into the eye of the storm
Satan disguised in some unrecogonizable form
Pervading all rational thought
Teaching me more than I’ve ever been taught
Prodding me to explore the previously unexplored
Taking me down a dangerous road
And I try to go on

How long it will last, nobody’ll ever know
Heading toward the light beyond the door
Bracing myself for all that may happen
Without letting my anxieties deepen
The longer the path, the more I may weep
Yet, never accept defeat
I will go on.. and on.. till I can’t

Meet the lady in blue

There are already two of me here and as I had said before, some other parts of me are getting a little restive. This particularly deals with the part of me that has a darker persona. So in order to give a vent to her feelings I introduce you to the girl in blue. Her snippets will perhaps reveal something that will make you think, when you’re happy and depress you to the core when you’re already upset.
Hope you do not enjoy what she writes.

Friday, July 20, 2007

The Case Of The Blasphemy Of Rockers

Heyy !!!! So here I am again. Told you guys earlier that UPDATE was gonna be the real …(n I mean REAL) problem for ahem..both of Us. Looks like She did some updating here..( sorry for that senti poem guys….don’t think that’s actually me.. though I’m not sure... naaah…besides I don’t think there’s place for another one in this blog [:P]…)
All you Rockers out there, this one’s for Ya’ll( This IS more in ma league..) So I’m not gonna go in the details of what Rock’s all about ( Yeah…if you’ve even got the IQ of a 2 yr old you’ll probably know a lil about what it is). Here in India, the Rock rage is just about catching on. Since India is a land of traditions and conforming with social rules, Rock which was always been the mouthpiece of rebellion, is slowly becoming a huge favorite of the youth who want to break away from any chains binding them.( Ya n besides all those “socio..rubbisho” philosophies it’s darned good music which has lyrics to think on and sounds to completely blow your mind.)
I don’t claim to have loads of knowledge on this subject, but I believe that rock started originating from the time Bob Dylan started penning his liberal and rebellious thoughts on paper. And I also truly believe that Rock is all about being who you are and doing what you like without giving a damn about who says what. Ya so I like parties and people..( Ya …alright but I don’t )…maybe you like to smoke.. maybe she don’t….(no questions asked …no shit said.)
But heyyy… What do we have now.. “Dude( remember how that dumb guy in that movie said it..picture that now), I’m a rocker .. I have to smoke like an oil tanker on fire.. drink like my stomach is a toilet bowl and do them weed, speed …n whatever ”( Well and then I hope he goes n throws up on his bloody guitar..some rocker)
Ya .. some rocker… a lot of the guys I know would just start smoking, doing dope n all because they like the music and want to get into the clique(which is uber cool if it’s the right peeps) . And the rest of them don’t even like the music. It’s like if you gotta be a rocker you gotta do this man.. So what happened to doing what you want to do?
Go anywhere around town and the number of Nirvana T-shirts I see makes me wanna never look at Cobain’s face again in my life. C’mon you don’t have to wear an Iron Maiden T shirt to prove you’re a rock fan. And guys death metal in my opinion is just clanging vessels and a wolf trying to make itself audible from over all that.( You may like it…. but don’t just pretend coz that joker next to told you it’s “in” ..get a life)
I went for the Campus Rock Idols (CRI) competition, of the Pune leg in Feb (they might as well have called it the Campus Growl Idols coz that’s all most of the bands did… the only Rock show I felt like running away from.. {makes a face}).. It gave me a headache. And no one really had any stage presence. They were just trying to ape other better known bands.. ( But people people people… there is a HUGE difference in a fake n the real thing n we ain’t no idiots)
(Gimme a break people stop being wannabes). Another rather amusing aspect is their literary developments( Soon the Ivy league will start granting them PhDs in poetry). They turn poets overnight ( Y'Know rockers are also supposed to be poets…duh{smirks}). Their poems are only about flesh n blood( now don’t you go n think this straight outta the bible… this is the real thing) and biting heads off till blood drips, and I don’t what other gore(..just as long as you keep the blood comin) though they can’t make a correct sentence to save their life.
Really all you so called Rockers out there you really would be way cooler if you stop trying too hard. And think about the Music man(“ Ya like Jack Black said in the move` Rock ain’t about getting loaded and acting like a jerk….’ Although you may do it once in a while but only if you want to – not the wannnabe standing next to you”) In the End it’s gonna be the Music that will set you free.
So until next time … rock on…(..Ta)

Saturday, July 14, 2007


When you look at her you see,
A pretty laughing face
She is but an epitome of pain
When she is in her space

What you see is an ideal girl
Who’s loyal to her kin
While there she suffocates in silence
Digging those manicured nails into her skin

You see her with her blue-eyed boy
A picture of perfection
While her heart longs for so desperately
For that dark, unachievable man

With dreams in her heart she started out
Dreams that have faded to dust
Now she lives in the memories of a make-believe world
Battling an insanity that forever shall last..

Wednesday, June 6, 2007


The 50’s brought TV, the 60’s brought Vietnam, the 70s- cannabis, the 80s disco…la la la..the 90s brought the internet and mobile revolution and the 21st century brought forth BLOGS……(ok ok...try to keep things a little shorter without trying to go to Neanderthal )
I have been curious about this blogging phenomenon that has apparently helped obscure writers strike gold worldwide ( and helped some rather well known ones plunge into obscurity). After the initial opinion that it was some techies’ passing phase I realized that it was perhaps one of the best things to happen to people like me who have an addiction to writing ( addiction????... check into writer’s rehab).
The initial formalities completed ( more like hurdles actually... )I felt I should decide on what the subject matter of my first ever blog post should be…….(Pause)…well that took me a little time( ah yes..a month is of course little when you consider just how old the cosmos is…( becomes thoughtful) ) and some serious motivation and I realized that my initial post ought to be about the wonders ( read lamentations) of starting my blog.
My friends have a very high opinion of my linguistic prowess although the less amicable ones would agree that it is after all Too high an opinion. But yet appreciation always converts the most unyielding individuals to docile lovable creatures, who of course might commit the most heinous crimes ( looks like we’re reading too many murder mysteries… but She just started a damn blog)
So in a sense to appease them and to satisfy a nagging conscience ( read very close friend who said She was too lazy to put her considerable talents to use) I had to write.
Now writing has always been a passion and it definitely is something I would have wanted to make a career out of. But at the crucial juncture when I had to choose my destiny I chose ( hold your breath ladies and gentlemen) Engineering (ta da). We’ll let bygones be bygones. In spite of my grumblings and my total incapacity to do well in a beautiful( if wires and microchips are beautiful) field called Electronics and Telecommunication- my apologies to others from the same field, I share your pleasures and your pain- it has definitely honed my writing skills and my creativity. How? Well, somehow creativity just pounces on you, and if ignored shreds your peace of mind into tiny untraceable pieces, when you’re in the middle of your preparatory leave or PL as we fondly call it.
So on the certain occasions that I do give in to the temptations of writing a word or two; during the PL i.e. I can safely admit that it turns out pretty good. At other times, such as now, I have to ponder and ponder and yet the words rarely flow. Even if they do they turn out to be absolute gibberish ( again…such as now ;) )
Now ( hear hear), since I Have started this “damn blog” as She puts it ( that’s me THE LADY IN BRACKETS ) the real task would be to perhaps keep updating it. And considering the regular paucity of ideas in my head ( like water in drought struck areas) it is going to be some work…( for Her lazy hind side).
Good bye until next time, Au revoir and Ta Ta ( and from me... Birla….duh…)

Lasciate Ogni Speranza Voi Ch’ Entrant
[ Abandon all hope ye who enter here]
- Dante

And finally….I am here. There were others and there are others…but all in me. I bring to you the good and the evil, the happy and the sad, the hopeful and the cynic, the beauty and the beast…
At last I bring to you, all that is ME..
I sure hope you will excuse the snide remarks made by my alter ego…who, not unlike me has little better to do

[WARNING: Investment of your time in this blog is subject to risks of becoming like the author. Please read the inscription in italics at top of the page carefully before investing.