Sunday, December 13, 2009

Second Choice

Right to left, left to right
On the threshold of another life
Glitter and glamour, on your right
Forbidden fruit on the other side

Safe the road, that goes her way
Goodness, fairness all have their say
No questions asked, come what may
The forbidden fruit's for another day

Indecisive, perhaps too far down
Choices of the two propound
Theories and stories around
All today, tomorrow bound

Dots and dashes to let it be
Flow with the current, constantly
Creepy "what ifs", why should you see
Coz it's no one but silly me

All is well, and yet not fine
We have both moved on in time
We must both now tow the line
A major change in what was mine

There in the wild there is a noise
And echoes there yesterday's voice
In that wild you had to choose
And I was the second choice

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Snapshots of life - 3

This photograph was taken at Panhala fort. We wanted to capture the ethereal blend of the ancient fort and the pure white moonlight. This picture(a personal favorite) was clicked without flash using ISO settings. It somehow reminds me of Alladin's genie. The astute jinn revealing the secrets of the universe to a curious mortal while the moon lights up their existance.
Dark Silhouettes in the beautiful, soft moonlight, the cold stone walls resonating stories of the thousands of yesterdays- of kings and wars, the sagacious speaker and the devoted listener....

Picture Courtesy: Akshay

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Snapshots of life - 2

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor and I see it need sweeping
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know why nobody told you
how to unfold you love
I don't know how someone controlled you
they bought and sold you

I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

I don't know how you were diverted
you were perverted too
I don't know how you were inverted
no one alerted you

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at you all
Still my guitar gently weeps


One of my all time favorite songs. So much meaning in the melody.
Sitting devoid of company in the post-lunch stupor, I'm hearing this for the fourth time in a row and I have no idea as to how many times I'm going to listen to it hereafter.

The melody transports me back to the 60s(my obsession with the era is legendary) or the closest to it I have seen.

The Cedars, the sound of the river, the fragrance of incense, of freshly baked bread, colorful baggy clothes, many colored people, semi-precious stones, tattoos....
All of that and much more.


My emotional haven. Where nature absorbs all sadness, all worry and gives you back a sense of belonging.
Have you ever felt what it's like to be owned by someone, something ? It's a nice feeling. Like you can let go of the burden of the world and just fall unafraid. I've been owned by nature - by the pretty green trees, by the gushing ice-cold water from the rivers, by the sight of pure white snow; and all in Manali.

The sounds of the Beatles take me there, and I walk alone through those long winding roads where no one sees my tears. Where nature embraces me at every street corner. Someday, I will go back there. Just don't know when....


I've been cleaning out my closets lately
Only to find dirt's tremendous might
The floors, they need sweeping
But there isn't a washcloth in sight
The corners are full of cobwebs
But I just can't reach them now
I want to make things better
But I just don't know how
The world never stops turning
But I am frozen in time
No control on todays and tomorrows
Coz' there's nothing that's mine...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


These were clicked without my knowledge and perhaps that's why they capture shades of the real me....
Picture Courtesy: Nishant
(Thanks Nishant! :) )

Monday, November 16, 2009

Red and black

Found this pretty thing outside Mulshi's paradise cafe.... Was blown away completely!!

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Over and over, still in the race
Running away from yesterday
Derision, Repulsion and falling from grace
Losing the me along the way

It's a long,torturous charade
Woven along with inexplicable rage
Entangled in whatever they said
Unable to turn the page

Aimless poetry to assuage the grief
Aimless wandering to just let it be
Worn and faded like an autumn leaf
With nothing left to see..

Somehow I think this will be an awesome death metal song..

Friday, November 6, 2009

Idle time

Idle time
If you've ever chatted on gtalk you would know that familiar orange circle- mr xyz is idle.
Its idle time for me right now. And it's orange. The lights are out in this part of town and a friend's studying by candlelight. Orange light. Everything looks so mysterious by candlelight. Even the boring plastic water bottle looks like its bound in threads of antique gold.
And the quiet. Just the sound of pages turning- as if they hold the answer to the unsolved mysteries of time.
A door shuts somewhere
A squeal of delight
a peal of laughter
The candle wick hissing in molten wax
A semi-nauseating smell of hair oil
A quick wind
The sudden darkening
As the flame tries to stay alive
A distant bark
And a flavor of the dark
Idle time
Sheer nothingness
Like time just froze...

P.S: The lights came back on right after I finished the lines above- as well timed as the conclusion of a thriller and the World started turning again. :D

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Qwerty who?

I've always looked at most business phones with a kind of derision. The cramped qwerty keypad- simply too many keys cramped into a tiny space. Replace the PC ?? No way!!
N here I am with my first qwerty phone and I have to say I am embarassed. It has all the necessary functionalities that you could probably need from a PC. I wouldn't go so far as to compare this with the netbooks which are the current hot property in the market, but still its capabilities are definitely impressive.
All in all I prove it to myself yet again that a negative reaction to anyone or anything is enough to ensure that I would eventually fall in love with it.. :)
P.S: Wrote the above post on my pretty qwerty... And ran out of balance uploading it..So the edits had to come from the PC..Man do these service providers rip you off or what.... x(

Friday, October 30, 2009

Snapshots of life

" Every now and then, once in a while, life gives us a miracle "

I've been searching for this quote on google for an hour now. I have no idea where I've read this quote or if it's formulated inexplicably in my head.

There are so many times that I go through this extremely colorful photo album in my head. Snapshots from my life. Like these tiny polaroid photographs. Only they imprint themselves in the fabric of your consciousness. On those rare occassions when my thoughts enter some forgotten dimension in my brain(in a dream or otherwise), it never fails to elicit a smile.

I don't know how, but somehow, the best part of those thoughts appear.

Hence, this series that I call Snapshots of life - my personal miracles . Just some yesterdays, some beautiful yesterdays...

And I start of with this small picture and a million memories.

Quad damage.

Familiar faces. Some unfamiliar ones.
Guitar feedback. Drum rolls.
"Vocals on the monitor please. Add some reverb please."
A strong smell of alcohol. Cigarette smoke.
A tiny whiff of Mary Jane.
The finger. Victory Signs.
And then the riff starts, and I lose myself in the music....

October 2007. I was in my final year of engineering(Finally) and going through a hard time mentally after some losses on the family front and some other issues.

A friend from college who I'd played with for some college fests called out of the blue, to meet with his band. It turned out they needed a vocalist and they were ready to give a female rock vox (which in those days in Pune was not such a common occurrence) a try.

One lead, one rhythm, one drummer, and me.

I remember the first meet over coffee that day. One moment we were getting introduced, and the next thing I knew we'd spend two and a half hours speaking of musical influences and bands like we'd known each other forever.

Then the first practice. Two guitarists and me. And the lights were out on that October day. But we sat in the garage in the dark and sang Pearl Jam's "Alive" to acoustic guitar and watched Angela Gossow from Arch enemy on the tiny laptop screen for inspiration.

We spent hours and days jamming. Making music. In the garage( where this picture was taken) and then once the renovations were over, up in our guitarist's room.

Now when I look back I just remember those extended practices. Led Zeppelin one day and Megadeth on another and Incubus some other time.

We did do a couple of gigs. Two and a half to be precise :) They were all fun. Being on stage is a totally unique experience in itself. The gigs were neither too earth shatteringly amazing nor absolutely unwatchable. But they were a fabulous experience.

The band was great while it lasted - two and a half months. We broke up in the beginning of the following year primarily because of creative differences(lol...ego would be a simpler way to put it).

Each time I go to a show, I remember the "being in the band feeling". The heady enthusiasm. It is truly a lovely picture.
I miss Quad damage.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Reliving the First Job feeling

One year.
It's that familiar chill in the air. The beginning of winter and the festive backlog. The last flicker of the diwali lights , remnants of the sweets and dry fruits; and the fervent wait for Christmas and New Year's eve. It was at exactly this time last year that I got into my first job.

eClerx Services ltd. Catering to so many of the Fortune 500. Listed in the BSE. blah blah....

I had just given GRE knowing full well that I would not go to the US( thanks to the recession). One phone call, a few rounds of interview and before I knew it, I had landed my first job - I was employed.

I had no idea what the company did or what it would eventually give me. Just that I had got in.
The weather somehow just takes me back to that time. To the world of opportunity that I saw then, the apprehension and yet the excitement. That first job feeling.

It'll be a year tomorrow i.e. October 27th. I am no longer with eClerx( I left about a month back). Learnt so much. Met so many people. So many amazing, inspiring experiences both in my personal and professional life. Made so many friends. The process of rediscovering Me.
I don't suppose I could summarize my experiences in an 11 chapter book ( for each of the 11 months). So I won't try. :)

I miss those old times, the familiar faces, the warmth.I miss all that.
But life has to move on. Greener pastures, opportunities et al.
Yet, today, sitting here in my clinical cubicle I go back to those days, the smiles, the fears; and hope to raise a toast to all the amazing people I met at eClerx.


P.S: An essentially insane coincidence - The new Cafeteria vendor is the same vendor who served food in eClerx when I left. Just when I have been thinking of the place so much! Celestine prophecy, Secret anyone? :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009


I don't quite understand what chemicals are being secreted in my brain right now. Even in this post lunch drowsiness, new thoughts and rhymes formulate themselves somewhere in the head. It's surely some kind of poison...

These things in life
You know they burn.
But fascination overrides instinct
And you move forth with it
Kill yourself bit by bit
And I have traversed these roads before
Explored that alien shore
Witnessed a thousand drown in its manipulative ways
Another hundred fall in the bylanes
The sheer indulgence
The absolute brilliance
And yet I follow course
Follow that light without a source
Evolve in the lies
Blend in the make-believe
Hope to recieve
Nothing but true poison
That sweet poison
Travel to the fourth dimension
To taste, to feel
that poison..

[ Truly i don't know what the Poison actually is. For me it's something immensely attractive but unbeatable. No poison is poison if you can resist it, defeat it.....]

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I am the only being - Emily Bronte

I am the only being whose doom
No tongue would ask no eye would mourn
I never caused a thought of gloom
A smile of joy since I was born

In secret pleasure —secret tears
This changeful life has slipped away
As friendless after eighteen years
As lone as on my natal day

There have been times I cannot hide
There have been times when this was drear
When my sad soul forgot its pride
And longed for one to love me here

But those were in the early glow
Of feelings since subdued by care
And they have died so long ago
I hardly now believe they were

First melted off the hope of youth
Then Fancy's rainbow fast withdrew
And then experience told me truth
In mortal bosoms never grew

'Twas grief enough to think mankind
All hollow servile insincere
But worse to trust to my own mind
And find the same corruption there


Each time
Walk the same road
Make the same mistake
Deal with it precariously
For another's sake
Each time
Go through the same kind of pain
For the same mistake
Burn my hands in fiend fire
Putting sanity at stake
The same mistake
For all others' sake....

Saturday, October 17, 2009

On Diwali...

Diwali! The festival of lights!
Thanks to the Chinese invasion of the Indian markets there are gorgeous lights being sold at every street corner and the city lights up after like a fairytale after dark. Pretty. So are the varied fireworks( true I don't completely advocate them, given the sound and air pollution; but then you can't agree with everything in the world).

So overall a pretty picture.

Time for some good old fashioned nostalgia.
Let me go back in time to 1991 and Calcutta( It became Kolkata way after that). Kaali Pujo 1991. One hell of a

47 Ballygunge Gardens. What a palace it was in it's hey day. Always abuzz with activity, full of life. Elders, a
tad younger than most, the young lads and ladies, a tad older than most, and us kids. Where normal days were far from quiet, festivals of course brought in a lot more fun and frolic. Diwali was no exception.

It was my first Diwali/Kaali Pujo in Calcutta( I've only seen one other) and when it comes to festivities,
Calcuttans can simply awe you out of your senses. I remember marveling the light work and the atmosphere.
Way before the Laser era, the Pujo Pandals were spinning stories in light in the Calcutta Pujos. I don't quite remember each tiny detail, but I find the crowd and the lights still emerge clearly when I close my eyes and go back there.

And then diwali at home-The mishti, the people, the fireworks et all. What fun. People from 2 to 70, under
the dark, moonless sky, laughing, trading fireworks and sharing love.

I remember there were a lot of patake, phuljharis in every hand and rockets all over the sky; teasing and
shouting on the terrace next to my grandmom's puja ghar.

Then bhai phota the next day. Bhai phota(Bhai dooj/Bhau beej, in other parts of the country) is the celebration of the brother-sister relationship and what a celebration it was; truly sentimental and truly fun. Loads of fish and even more mithais( Maach and Mishti- the bong staple)

I tried to relive the same feeling in 1997 again. Oh, how excited I was, all of 13; and I was terribly disappointed. What I had not considered was and understand now, is that it was not the occassion, the vacation, the house or the city that made Diwali so special in '91. It was my family- all under the same roof.

Time steals. It stole life out of that house- literally and figuratively. The not so young youth grew older and got pulled into the web of family life. Some moved away physically, the rest mentally. The not so old elders, watched time scatter the younger ones; some of them withdrew into their impressions of the past, some into their failing bodies and some, like my darling grandmother decided to leave the world behind for good.
Us kids? Well we no longer are kids. I guess we lost our childhood way earlier than our previous generation.

This diwali I think of that old house and what it has seen. Maybe those lifeless bricks go back in time every now and then, maybe they hear the laugh and feel the warmth. Maybe the sky above is lit up with a thousand pretty fireworks and yet 47 Ballygunge gardens dreams of another day...

And I go back in time with it, to hear that familiar cackle and feel the love....

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Imagination in a cube

Office cubicles!! Fascinationg little worlds. So now, a new office and a new cubicle. Excitement, anxiety, apprehension, loneliness.....

I have always had a strange liking for small, personal, semi-enclosed places. They are like personal hideaways. So the concept of cubicles have always kinda fascinated me. After the initial lonely bout(I was in a land without boundaries previously ;) ) I have started contemplating about how I can convert the space allotted to me into my personal space.

Looked up a lot of forums. Man! people have awesome ideas. A jail, a bar, a castle. Wow!!

So all inspired, I bought myself a few photo frames. But damn electronic media, I don't remember the last time I got a photograph printed. The 21st century has people holding their laptop and cell phone screens close to their heart instead of a measly printed photo.

We do not need imagination. We live in a Harry Potteresque world today. We have slideshows and videos, where once we held close to us simple old fashioned photographs in sepia and grey. Our minds are in permanent and growing recession and it's imagination that's out of work. Adolescents have no time to daydream, their playstations and ipods take precedence.

Sometimes( that's the frequency I would admit openly) I feel I am an anachronism - misplaced in time. I still cling to old, faded photographs, travel across this world and others in my dreams and prefer to write my rhymes on paper. I am not a technophobe( I have no idea if a word like that exists but I AM NOT Googling it. Would spoil the feel. *Wink*). I love my gadgets. But I love that little hippie in me that jumps for joy at the sound of travel and music and at letting imagination run wild.

So coming back to the cube, it is in progress. I managed to get a super colorful pen stand and I'm sure I will get some of the photographs printed as soon as I can win that old familiar battle with procrastination.

But for now, in this laid back festive atmosphere I would just take respite in a nice cup of black java and my old friend, Imagination.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Heaven indeed!!

Some scenes are so vivid and beautiful that they imprint themselves in your mind forever. This is one such.

Matheran is the tiniest hill station in the world and one of the few places that are absolutely vehicle free. Heavenly?? Well Yeah! It sure is...

Clicked this picture on the walk back and the sight instantly reminded me of the mythological TV shows[:)] that we have all seen some time in our lives- Gods and Goddesses floating about over the clouds...

That apart, a walk in the clouds and a glimpse of heaven - what more do you need out of a trip!

Green with envy!

There's something immensely fascinating about this snake that I saw on my recent trip to Matheran. We were all awestruck at the absolute perfection . But then again, nature never fails to amaze!

Monday, September 21, 2009

And if you forget me!

A mail chain steeped in meaning.... A friend sent Neruda( that's the mail) and the reply follows.

I want you to know

one thing.

You know how this is:

if I look

at the crystal moon, at the red branch

of the slow autumn at my window,

if I touch

near the fire

the impalpable ash

or the wrinkled body of the log,

everything carries me to you,

as if everything that exists,

aromas, light, metals,

were little boats

that sail

toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,

if little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly

you forget me

do not look for me,

for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,

the wind of banners

that passes through my life,

and you decide

to leave me at the shore

of the heart where I have roots,


that on that day,

at that hour,

I shall lift my arms

and my roots will set off

to seek another land.


if each day,

each hour,

you feel that you are destined for me

with implacable sweetness,

if each day a flower

climbs up to your lips to seek me,

ah my love, ah my own,

in me all that fire is repeated,

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

my love feeds on your love, beloved,

and as long as you live it will be in your arms

without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

And hence followed my reply

And if you forget me…

If tomorrow brings with you

Trials unknown

And with a heavy heart you move on

And battle

The worst fears, the worst tragedies

I will stand by each day

Wait at each corner,

At each bend

To hold your hand

Exhilaration and beauty

Happiness and abundance

Kiss each step of your way

I shall stand and watch

And pray

It lasts forever

And if you forget me,

If each day in your life begins with a laugh

A thought, a smile

And none of which have a drop of me

I shall smile, and think and drown in sweet memories

When they were but for me

If suddenly you detest,

My existence

My coming in your life

Of my unholy self

Decaying an insignificant corner of your heart

I will try to cleanse it

To erase those memories

And with a million tears

Erase all those years..

Yet my love,


Come what may

Will I forget you

Writ upon my soul

Is a summer

And a life I never knew

And I me always wanted to be

A me so very true

Lose I shall that me perhaps

Along some rough road

But never lose the very you

Or the paths we trod

And every now and then when I

Visit my real self

I shall live again my love

I shall be myself

Friday, September 18, 2009

An Ode to Friends!


Words steeped in meaning,

Words forgotten, the imprint remains forever.


Lighting up faces, warming hearts

Filling the all consuming void.


Rarely seen, more frequently felt,

A pain that you carry through the years.


Arising out of situations,

A deeper thinking, often leads sane thought into oblivion.


Travelling to another domain,

Losing identities in the bliss of mutual intoxication


Ah! But what else is life,

An amusing concoction of exhilaration and strife.


Never enough to express what's inside,

But the feelings you can rarely hide.


Too many but little to do,

And they keep alive the real you.


Pulls reality away,

Takes you to another world, another place.


Like precious gems,

Embed themselves in karmic consciousness


All encompassing,

Weave the inexplicable in to the fabric of life.

Conversations never shall end,

Smiles forever brighten,

Tears seldom our spirits bend,

And philosophies rarely cure,

Fiestas will forever take us to never never land,

Misunderstandings will hurt for sure,

Words never suffice to explain,

Emotions so obscure,

Time will never tarnish,

Memories so pure,

Friends will always ensure,

This bitter life we can endure.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


[ Was wondering what it would be like to delve into the mind of an addict. It is way easier than I had ever anticipated. After all, aren't we all addicted to something, someone perhaps?]

Restless, shifty eyed, unstable, unsteady

Move over world, i think I am ready

The clock chimes 12 no sleep yet

There's sweat on my forehead, clothes dripping wet

Joyous thoughts of a pleasant feel

Runs through my mind like a movie reel

Longing transcends every other emotion

My body craves for that familiar elation

The mind forewarns of trials unknown

Of regrets, of fears, of being alone

And yet the soul reaches out

And tries its best to wipe all doubt

Deviated intentions and intense desire

To escape life's hellish fire

Led me to a quiet solace

It takes me to a different place

I give in to the devil's charm

Pull it close, much to sanity's alarm

One brief moment does pass by

And the next I start to fly...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


She never walks alone

Glides, effortlessly

From light to light


Always right

Never errant and yet an aberration

Coz her identity was never hers

She makes her presence felt in times of utter loneliness

Eternally giving yet barely existing

Living a life through another

And yet more experiences gather

She never leaves.

Through bright, through dark

An apparition?

Barely so.

Flesh and blood

Oh never! No..

A shadow of me

Or am I hers

She leads me through yet another day...


Times like this,

When each day is just another day

Like there was yesterday and there will be tomorrow

Hope is another word in the dictionary

which somehow

the world believes it should live for

A love song is just good coz it’s another pretty melody

A sad movie is just another fellow human's directorial genius

When a baby's smile is just another poster in the making

When the moon is just a photographer's muse

A pretty face, an excuse

When the smile reaches from ear to ear

But never reaches the eye

When you can get to the bottom of things

But just don't want to try

When a loved one's tears fail to move you

When nothing you do ever excites you

When you escape the hurt by miles and miles

But reach the void so

When you end up so unfeeling

That you cannot feel the you

Sunday, August 30, 2009


‘The sphinx sat down upon her hind legs, in the very middle of the path, and recited:

"First think of the person who lives in disguise,

Who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies.

Next, tell me what's always the last thing to mend,

The middle of middle and end of the end?

And finally give me the sound often heard

During the search for a hard-to-find word.

Now string them together, and answer me this,

Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?"’

- -- J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter

The answer to the riddle above is the Spider.

I have always found the spider to be a very fascinating creature somehow. Especially the complex web it spins. The web is so exceptionally intricate and complicated and only the spider itself can effortlessly navigate through it. Seems like God in some ways; which is probably not too far from the truth. They are a lot closer to God than the self proclaimed best creations of God( read humans) will ever be. Nature somehow never ceases to mesmerize…

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Real World

Here in the real world,

I’m a leader, capable of taking the world under my wing

But in my mind I’m a timid child, trying to understand why they trust me so

Here in the real world,

I’m a visionary, changing the works with an idea

But in my mind, I dare not envision the unpredictability of time and circumstances

Here in the real world,

I’m beautiful, getting a hundred glances and a thousand sighs

But in my mind I’m still the gawky adolescent, hiding my face and tears behind large spectacles

Here in the real world,

I’m a lover, in a perfect relationship with a perfect person

But in my mind I’m lost and confused, in love with a tomorrow that’s not mine to be

Here in the real world,

I’m human, with feelings and thoughts and a hundred emotions

In my mind, I’m human too but fighting instincts more animalistic than me.

Here in the real world,

I’m real,

In my mind, I just wish I wasn’t….

Sunday, July 26, 2009

It'll be morning soon

If you're tired of the tirade, screaming to leave
Don't fret,
It'll be morning soon and I'll be gone
If you're bored beyond measure, longing for spice
Don't distress yourself,
It'll be morning soon and I'll be gone
If you fear my insanity like a ghostly mirage
Don't cower,
It'll be morning soon and I'll be gone
If you're looking for greener pastures, in lands far off
Be patient a bit,
It'll be morning soon and I'll be gone

A bird of the deepest night
On which few may lay sight
I love with an intense might
Fearing neither wrong nor right

Tomorrow's a different day and you may realise
But alas, my love
It'll be morning soon and I'll be gone,

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Loveless, Lossless, Unfeeling

I had a very strange day today.I just felt entirely neutral. Not happy, not sad, not worried, emotional, crazy... just existentialist.
I didnt have a single extreme emotion throughout the day, except at one single point, when I felt like giving someone I knew had suffered a big loss, a huge hug. But that's all. The only extreme emotion...

If I feel like this all the time, all immune to pain, will I like it. Or is too much of a good thing dangerous?

For the first time in days, I have not felt that bitterness, that longing, that unfairness in my life that I've been feeling every waking hour of the day.

I like it. Today. Just realising that time rolls on... Realising action and its consequence... How we all move about in this karmic circle...
And watching pleasantly as life moves on.... watching in third person...

Guess the eclipse did cause an upheaval of sorts...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wishes in the rain!

Looking out of the window,
Skies in shades of black and white
Dressed for the mundane
While the heart longs for respite
Drops of incessant rain
Washing away those tears
Opening a hundred possibilities
Revealing a thousand fears..

Just another work day. The sky is unleashing a fury and little can stand in it's way. When I look out of the window, I see so many shades of nature. The just formed muddy lakes where fields were, colorful plastic umbrellas and rain gear, a hundred shades of green and so much more. Then a million sounds- of children splashing water as they step deliberately into the numerous puddles, the pitter patter of the rain drops, the sizzle of oil in the kadhai( I smell pakoras ;)), a stray shaking off water from its coat, the frogs, the birds. oh I could go on and on!

And then the very thought of returning to the mundanity of work- absolute torture. It's almost a sin to sit in artificial light, in front of the PC screen while day changes to night and nature unleashes bounties and curses on all that is seen and unseen..

I long to just sit curled under a blanket with a friend or two, while the wind makes the rain drops whizz past the open window and talk and talk..Talk about life and love and a hundred philosophies and another hundred whacky business plans. All, over cups of hot hot coffee and salty snacks..

And then maybe run out into the open, jump about, splash about, relive childhood and perhaps a little bit of the frivolity of adolescence. Then return indoors drenched and queue up for a hot bath. After which we return to the warm comfort of the blankets..

“When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.”

Elizabeth Bowen

Perhaps it's love that makes me wish, A perhaps that is almost certain -- Love, for everything around, for mother earth, and for the another..

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Seven Deadly Sins

Guilty as charged, jurors
Guilty of all that's been said of me
Guilty of being human
Guilty and free
Committing each crime with deadly precision
And breaking down my soul
Each sin named and unnamed
The pain of each, the devil's toll

Greed it is that leads us in
To experience all of life
To see what must be seen
All glory and strife
Greed it is I feel
When there's some more love I want
An insatiable need
A spectre that does haunt

Gluttony is a hunger
That I feel when I need you
It's an appetite for destruction
Incarceration true
It's not starvation that drives me insane
But a desperate need to feed
The visions of the divine fruit
That together we must eat

Lust is but a development
A rendition of the times
Of the complexity of the feelings
The music in the rhymes
The intensity of a tender touch
That ignites passion's fire
The indestructible flame
Burning by a funeral pyre

And out of the fire rises Envy
Like a menace in the night
And looms like the stormy clouds of fate
As the earth puts up a fight
That wants every single moment
Of every waking hour
Not letting even little go by
Making me aware of its power

Then the Wrath at utter failiure
A volcanic explosion great
That implodes to burn the insides
As it shatters a prolonged wait
As blood and tears do mingle
Into a rotten blend
A concoction of inner misery
And to a painful end

Out of the ashes Pride rises
To restore some broken remnants
To salvage through the fields of green
And find its hidden tenants
A sense of self and earthly wisdom
That got lost in the course of love
A soul far badly damaged
The few blessings from above

And finally settles acedia
Discouragement defined
A resignation to destiny
And another startling rewind
No efforts to make any difference
Another time around
Just a knowledge that no sin can defeat
This love so perfectly profound!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A puppet story

Marionettes on the stage of life
Plastic smiles and painted lips
Held together by strings of hope
Connected at the fingertips
The one in white is all alone
Laughing at painted stars
The one in red is angry now
As he counts the long lost hours
The purple monster screams in haste
To scare his counterparts
The yellow headed geek just smiles
As cupid shoots his darts
Our story traces the little pink thing
The puppet in the cage
And the little black soldier with the crystal gun
Who never seems to age


She prances about in her sheltered world
Rarely venturing out
The strings that hold her have firm rules
Which she never must flout
Safe and pleasant she bides her time
Coz safe is what she's been
Never dares to explore
And see what she's never seen
An occassional night time tryst
As the sky of cloth does dark
Somewhere beside the sea of paper
Watch the ships of wood embark
Glow in yellow candlelight
In this old fashioned set
A smile always on her tiny lips
Whatever she may have felt
Tarrying along in the make believe world
Waiting for a fairy tale
Hiding from the claws of time
Lest her dreams may fail

The Black soldier

He's a rebel yet a conformist
Tugging at the strings of hope
Carrying around an infectious smile
As he sings along the road
Once he had a zillion dreams
All lost in the hallways of the years
At war with himself and with others
Whoever brings back his fears
Holding close his crystal gun
Though seldom he might shoot
Out to protect his molten core
When he passes a dangerous route
Shooting rays of crystal hope
From his little gun
Teaching love and how to feel
Drinking up the fun

Pink and Black

Our soldier once on journeys wide
Meets the doll of pink
Shows her life beyond the cage
Makes her stop and think
In lines of pretty poetry
Drowns her inhibitions, all
And ties her with his strings of love
Lest that she may fall
Holds her close through sun and rain
In the plastic stage
Wipes her tears and makes her laugh
And calms her putrid rage
At the world that holds her there
Away from her real self
From her thousand worries far and wide
That she formulates herself


The war now looms at large
And soldier's out to fight
The duties of the plastic world
Have finally come to light
A hundred streams he must cross
A thousand demons face
A million thoughts he must defeat
If he wants to be in the race
The rose tinted little girl is now
Melancholy and blue
Left back to face the empty cage
To dream those dreams alone
The fictional palace is now long gone
The cage merely a prison is
Assurances fall on vacant ears
As her mind succumbs to disease
The war out there will never end
The soldier never return
The subtle words from the hollow years
Can never cure the burn
She still ventures out on her own at night
Daring herself to face
Divine wrath from heaven above
Or perhaps the devil's grace
And tomorrow she knows is simply lies
In this plastic world
So she puts up her plastic smiles
And ventures out to learn
She calls at him one last time
Before she starts to flee
From the world broken by time
And be what she wants to be
The soldier sways to the tunes of the world
All has now been changed
She must move on
Coz everything has been rearranged