The Ceremony of Loss

Gone,
Far away, far from my world
To a world of your own
Created without me, with a love rightfully yours
My world,
Now without smiles, without peace, without contentment
All siphoned off as ransom for the time you gave me
I have but little resentment
Cause I was more at fault you see
A mystic curse on me,
That which a strength was,
That which I never thought a weakness would be
Filled now,
With an emptiness, a numbness to all but pain
Tears,
My companion in times of trouble,
Try to shield me,
The me devoid of hope, facing reality.
The sky wept,
Wept at the ceremony
The ceremony of my loss that the world celebrated
The sky,
Wept at myfolly, wept to wash my tears away with its
Scarred,
Scarred for now, for the tomorrows that will come
Longing to let go of the memories
And dying to keep some
Sauntering in a dream that I knew
would never be true
Yet unwilling to dream anew
Wish,
A wish I would never wish I'd wish
And then wish to find a way
To think beyond the memories of that day
Think beyond the colors, the shades
The exhilaration
Antithetical to mine
To the darkness in my being
Drowning,
Losing control on everything
Moving slowly to the other side
Hoping for respite, for comfort
To feel a simple peace inside.
Away
Away
Far away from here
From you
All that I remember of you
Simply away...
To Shangri-la, to another terrain
To live again
and die once more......

The Ring

 Hold me, surround me in  that flaming circle

Douse the fire and bind me in that ring

The ring which once was of hope

Now tenders only sorrow

The yesterdays have swallowed my tomorrow

That fire that once was mine

Is now replaced by a cold nothingness

The ring has lost its shine

But it keeps its iron hold

The entrapment is now sevenfold

Slowly the burning embers move to where it rightfully should

And though my best sense agrees, my heart feels wronged

I should let go, but the ring prohibits

And the love limits

My powers of self recovery

The ring holds me in a tight bondage

Drowns me in “What ifs”, in numbness

Yet in pain

It lets me not refrain

Against that, which hurts me so

Against him, that my pain does not know

Perhaps I shall fight, I am sure I must

Till I can do no more than bite the dust.

Inspired.....

[ From times when the mind goes numb and the heart goes out of control. Most of these were created in SMS form as thats the only medium of expression on the go ]

Alone,

Even the myriad shapes that surround me,

The specters of the darkest nights

Have left me in cold abandonment

Do I still exist

Why do I still resist

The axe, the scythe

Am I curse from days of lore

Have you been to this place before

Do you recall a bitter way

That you passed along some rainy day

I am the heartbreak kid

The one your mother warned you of

I begin where the world stops to bleed

Immorality’s seed

Yet with a heart that wouldn’t hate

That’s my evil destiny my tryst with fate

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A hope, a wish a silent cry,

Not enough life left in me to die

Goes on vacant ears unspoken

No one this accursed chest must open

This must continue all the way

Up until judgement day

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If tomorrow brings pain of another kind

If the eternal road I may find

What would you rather I said

What dreams

What wishes

What decisions delayed

How would you rather it end

Along which road, along what bend

What would you want from me

From where would you rather I oversee?

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if love was a commodity how much would u sell for me

if life was inconsequential what destiny shall be

if truth was just another lie what would you believe

if the heart was replaceable would the mind the "it" be

if yesterdays were to come tomorrow again who's smile would you die to see

if colors were the moments in life what color would we be?

if I would have been just yours, would you still yearn so for me?

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What dreams may come, they are of you

The subtle smile to thoughts of you

Lost yet again, lost in you

I’m here again but where are you

Impossible dreams being yet so far

At this unearthly hour

Enslaved by your enchanting power

Passion like a heavenly shower

Pure Oh angel is our love

As peaceful as a sprightly dove

Eternal and ever bright

Lighting up the darkest night

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Just Something

Each day I walk down the same road,

Each day wish something new

Each day disappoints and yet I wait

For what I know isn’t true

 

I make the same old blunders,

And endeavor to set it right

And each day when I come face to face

I recoil and run out of sight.

 

A lie it is I live each day,

But in a total lie I’d rather not die

Just a tiny wish, a prayer

A tiny urge to fly

 

Not too high, above the clouds

Just high enough to see

Everything a little differently

To define the real me

 

Just once, just once, feel the real me

Just once let me soar

Just once give the real me a chance

I would not ask for more

 

Just once I want to be happy

Without making another sad

Just once I want to laugh with glee

Without appearing bad

 

And yet again, I walk down the same road,

Yet again, wish something new

Each day disappoints and yet I wait

Hoping what I know isn’t true.